Religion? Or straight up Traditions?

As a Coptic young woman growing up in a modern society, I have witnessed many things when it comes to my community and background. As I grow, I realized that I am not the only one experiencing the things I have done. I have been a part of many discussions about taboos in our communities and whether or not they really are wrong in respect to religion.

To start with, what is the definition of religion? It is 1) the belief in and worship of a superhuman power- God and 2) beliefs as discussed or taught. Tradition, on the other hand, is defined as 1) the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on this way and/or 2) a long established custom or belief that has been passed on this way.

Definitions noted?

As ethnics we tend to refer to our religion and say, 'no it is not allowed.' Is it really? I'm a Christian who tries to live righteously to the best of my abilities. After all, God put us on Earth as part of our test. I, also, come from a very conservative family. A family who pride themselves in reputation. What reputation? Amongst the people of our community of course. It seems to be the same with all the other families. They compete for best looking, best dressed, most successful, most popular etc. Just like a high school if you will. They take it to extremes and are willing to spread rumors and lies to destroy the reputation of their so-called brothers and sisters. As a result, girls such as myself are forced to dress, look, and behave a certain way in the fear of not bringing shame on to their family or ruining the family's name if you will. Sometimes, there are situations one is put into and then when explained say it is wrong in our religion. How is it wrong?

A recent example I encountered is tattoos. This debate took place between two women and their daughters. The witness? The family priest. The poor man got a headache to say the least. Tattoos are not biblically wrong. There is no verse or anything casting it as wrong. Society and communities have turned it into something most definitely to be frowned upon. The mothers, of course, disagreed. They said that unless it is of a religious representation it is entirely wrong. Note, neither of the daughters want tattoos but were only out to set a point. That tattoos are not biblically wrong and that along the way we've managed to mix traditions with religion! When asked, the priest said that tattoos were indeed not wrong. However, 'that if one is covered in tattoos what will one think?' he added. This brought about the point. What about what people will think?

If one is constantly being taught about religion being the guideline we must abide by then why should we concern ourselves with other people? Surely the only judgement we should care for is that of God? Sadly, that is not ethical. Reputation is far more important. God forbid you be a good person going about your life as normal.

Reputation isn't everything. I could be an undercover thief but look like a saint in society by contributing to charity and being popular amongst the masses. What does that gain me? The point is, not only in my community, but in many ethnic communities, reputation is far more important. Saying religion is the reason behind the traditions is my biggest peeve. The two are not tied. Nor are they the same thing. With the years we've managed to mix the two and refer to it as religion.

Remember- God only sees YOUR heart.

A Poem For Every Woman Out There

The following poem is a favorite that I wish to share with everyone. I read this poem every so often to remind me of my worth as a young woman and that without downs, I won't strive to achieve for success. This poem is beautifully written by an extraordinary woman. An inspiration for those who strive for power, eloquence, and self dignity. Maya Angelou is a woman after my heart: You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? 'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise. Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my soulful cries. Does my haughtiness offend you? Don't you take it awful hard 'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines Diggin' in my own back yard. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise. Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I've got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of history's shame I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise.

Can men and women be friends?

Recently, I found this clip circulating on Facebook... I must say I found it hilarious when I watched it because these film students set out asking university students at the library, 'can men and women be friends?' I'll give you a moment to watch the clip...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

Finished? It's funny right? How shocking that nearly all the guys said 'no' and all the girls, in fact, said 'yes'. This prompted me to message everyone on my contact list and ask them the very same question. All I wanted was an honest yes or no answer. The results were hilarious and very intriguing! As you can pretty much imagine, I got a very mixed reaction.

Unlike the clip not all girls said , 'yes'! Obviously, like the clip a lot of girls did say 'yes'. Funny enough judging by how well I know them and their ages. They were relatively young and naive enough to say yes! (Sorry girls!). Only two of the girls (one being the youngest in my contact list) said 'no'! Well done on them. The older and maturer girls in my contact list said 'no'. Straight up with no hesitation. Men and women can't be friends. Why? Because the likeliness of one fancying the other is inevitable. They added, 'even if he was the most unattractive lad there will be some sort of feelings there, unless he's gay!' I got that response a lot! Hilarious right?

Then, a second group of people gave me the 'yes and no' response. They said it depended entirely on the situation, age, and their occupation! If in school or university, then yes men and women can be friends. If older and working then it's next to impossible unless they are strictly professional colleagues. Some, also, added that it depends if there's an attraction full stop. If there is an attraction then it's a definite 'no'. If otherwise, then 'yes'. One friend mentioned that her friend said 'yes, if the girl is ugly!' What a funny response. Men will be your friend if you're unattractive? Hmm... Interesting.

One friend out of the bunch brought up a very good point. Being a typical alpha male, he said 'no'. However, he went on to add the following-
'Ask every woman this question.... Who's your closest male friend?' He went on to say, 'they will mention one name immediately. Ask, 'would the guy be able to get with you?' Would he or would he not get with you?' The answer... Most will say 'yes'. He said that they would be likely to change their answer after thinking about it for a bit to a solid 'no'. He made me laugh. That honesty was rare and refreshing. He also asked me, 'why is it that good looking people have more friends of the opposite sex than 'regular' looking people?' That question made me genuinely think.

Men and women are, in fact, always curious and attracted to their friends of the opposite sex but would never say. Some people know they don't have a chance and would rather be friends than nothing. I personally think of it from a psychological perspective. After reading a few journals on the male and female psyche I couldn't make up my mind. In the olden days it used to be about romance and it was a likely taboo to have cross-sex relationships. It was all about the male working and the female at home looking after the household. Times are changing and that women are slowly being perceived as equals to their male counterparts hence these friendships between men and women are more likely.


Movies and TV shows work against the whole 'equality' theory. Examples being 'When Harry met Sally' or Monica and Chandler from Friends. They promote that friends will always virtually get together at the end. Not necessarily. I think environments like university or work allow women and men to interact thus kindling friendships. It doesn't mean they're attracted to one another but enjoy each other's company in that moment in time. However, there is always something appealing about that person. For example, I work in a pretty huge office. I am not friends with everyone on our floor. I take my co-workers as my co-workers. Are they friendly? Most definitely. Am I really friends with all of them? Not really. We do engage in conversations and spend time together when there is a company function per say. What draws me to them? That depends. I've noticed it with everyone to be honest. Everyone is different. There's a certain characteristic that appeals to you about the person enough to be their friend. It doesn't necessarily have to be beauty or something of a physical nature, but something like sense of humour or kindness for example. I can see why some people say men and women can't be friends because it is easy to confuse liking that one's kindness for 'love' if you will.

Still, statistics and studies show that from high school through to work, men and women interact plenty and one will develop many cross-sex friendships in their lifetime. However, once married and settled down those relationships dwindle because of the change in priorities and, well, in some cultures it's believed to be a taboo. Whatever the case, there is literally no right or wrong answer. Times are changing. Environments you are placed in, force people of different sexes, religion, background or whatever to interact and live alongside one another regardless. Still word to the wise, ladies be careful not every guy is out there to be your friend! Same applies to you fellas out there (sadly).

Can these people get real?

Today, I carried out my regular routine of getting up in the morning and getting ready for work, followed by checking twitter and the web for the latest news. I came across another article that has proven that things are just becoming a little too ridiculous in the Middle East. Below you will find the link to the article. Have a read before I share my thoughts on this matter.

http://bikyamasr.com/50403/islamic-cleric-bans-women-from-touching-bananas-cucumbers-for-sexual-resemblance/

Finished? Bet you're shocked. Laughing? Appalled? Is it possible to be all three at the same time? That was my immediate reaction! Then, as an impulse decided to circulate the article to my co-workers! Everyone had a good laugh until one of my superiors mentioned that in Iraq they actually banned women buying cucumbers and tomatoes. Wow. I am genuinely disturbed. Why does everything have to have some hidden sexual meaning? How perverse must you be to sit there and actually think to yourself women cannot touch a cucumber because it 'resembles a penis'. Disgusting is what comes to mind. God forbid a woman makes a salad without turning it into something sexual. Now a third party male has to be present and make the salad himself so the woman doesn't get turned on. They've just given a new meaning to salad tossing!

This sheikh who goes unnamed should be ashamed of himself. As a 'man of God' who must spread the good word and actually educate purity he's managed to turn something simplistic into something perverse. Ironically, he lives in Europe. Shouldn't he be educated enough? Why are these sheikhs, clerics, and religious figures coming up with insane new rules? Why must it all be related to sex?  If you haven't read the last post about lifting the driving ban, then you'll understand what I'm talking about. These new allegations that keep springing up are offensive. It seems as though they are trying to oppress women and not expose them to anything the world has to offer so it seems.

Lifting the driving ban on women in Saudi.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2068810/Saudis-fear-virgins-people-turn-gay-female-drive-ban-lifted.html

Yesterday I read this article pasted above in the Daily Mail. When I read its title my first impression was to laugh but when I carried on to the article's content I was mortified.

Despite living in Saudi for most of my life I knew how tedious it was to have to depend on male family members, friends or driver to be transported around the city. You'd usually have to wait more than an hour because they have other errands to tend to. Even sharing drivers was a nightmare!

Saudi's law on no driving for women was implemented when cars were first brought into the kingdom. Not for religious purposes but just because King Saud at the time decided women shouldn't drive. For years women have tried to battle this ban but were never successful.

The first time I heard about the proposal for the driving ban to be lifted I was against it for one reason only- women's safety. Saudi is already notorious for unsafe and hazardous driving due to letting minors and unlicensed drivers drive as freely as they please. Not to mention the hormonally crazed adolescents driving around the streets harassing female passengers whether young or old. However, more and more did I start to understand the importance of allowing these women to drive when I started to work and was forced to become dependant on my late father, his friends or drivers. It was such a pain and totally frustrating to sit and have to wait just because, I, as a young woman can't drive. When the proposal rumors were spreading I began asking several friends - Saudis, non-Saudis, females and males- what they thought about lifting this driving ban. The reactions were vast! Women who went abroad and got licences forced to come back had to reform to Saudi's traditional ways and found it an absolute nightmare to become dependant on someone else. They obviously want the ban to be lifted. Other women who never left Saudi but worked always found it problematic depending on drivers that they usually shared. Hence, ideally they want the driving ban lifted. One friend, a male, mentioned that he agrees that the ban be lifted but in stages. Not all at once. He said they should created certain rules for particular ages to ease the population into the changes rather than giving the women all the rights to drive just like that. Reasons being safety. 'What if a police officer pulls them aside in a quiet area?' He spoke sense. In Saudi Arabia, everyone fears being taken to a police station or confronted by a police officer because Lord knows what he would be capable of doing and getting away with it.

Recently, a women tried to defeat all odds and drove. She was arrested and sentenced to 10 lashes. Reports claim that the current King Abdullah stopped this from actually happening. I recall all the controversy over twitter and other social network sites egging on women such as Manal Alsharif to drive. Why would you risk putting yourself in that sort of position? I genuinely feel for the women of Saudi because all the other Middle Eastern countries don't impose such a ban on their women.

Okay, now to the main point... The article! How in their right minds does it make sense that by allowing their women to drive homosexuality will increase and the number of virgins will decrease? Sounds all a little too perverse for my liking. By allowing women to such a 'luxury' they will start to sleep around? Meet men and lose their virginities so to speak? Disgusting. A woman wants to feel independence. Just drive from point A to point B and make no stops to 'fornicate'. Also, an increase in homosexuality? What does that mean? If women are driving around all day that means more men will be available at home to do the dirty with other men? How is that even explicable. The part where they say 'invoke pornography'. Erm, how? Pose nude in their cars? They already block URL's to sites like Hi5! There is absolutely no logic behind these atrocities they call explanations. To top it off, that these allegations were made by so called 'scholars' astounds me! Doesn't sound very educated does it?

In general, as an outsider looking in I'm saddened for the women of Saudi but as a girl brought up there and had the privilege of meeting some of the remarkable women there I am angry on their behalf. I seriously hope for a change in the mentality of the government and people in charge because it genuinely is a battle for equality above all else.

The latest in Egypt.

This subject is very dear to my heart. Speaking as a Coptic Christian I am appalled at what is going on over there. I disagreed with the revolution to over throw Hosny Mubarak for one reason only- he was protecting the minorities (Coptics). He, himself, had imprisoned Salafists (a.k.a the Muslim Brotherhood) knowing good and well the threat they offered to society. Since he'd been over thrown, attacks on the Copts have grown regardless of previous attacks that were kept on the down low whilst he was in power to say the least. Sadly, the world is sitting and watching this genocide in the making. Blowing up churches, burning places of worship, shooting and running over peaceful protesters with army tanks is horrendous. How can the world leaders sit and watch whilst people are losing loved ones in a torturous manner?
Recently, the formation of a government is taking place after the first phase of Egyptian elections. Who you ask is going to lead and form the new government? The Salafists nonetheless. How can such a party of thugs who claim to fear God and be highly religious come into such power? When I speak to Egyptians - muslims and non-muslims - they all agree that they shouldn't be in power. For the first time everyone wanted to make a stand and do their best to vote. This proved a difficult task especially for expats who only found out the proper procedure ten days before voting! There should have been an online voting poll for the world's Egyptians. Only 100,00 Egyptians outside of Egypt actually voted. These numbers are disheartening.
As a result, now we must watch whilst the elected PM has to form his new government. Where is the justice when it is the uneducated who were reused into voting? They are taught to believe that these people are religious, fear God, and do a service to the poor? This ploy funded by other Middle Eastern countries is unfair. No outside help has helped the other parties running in the elections. Is it known by the world that a Christian can't run? Instead a party started by multi-billionaire Naguib Sawires and represented by a liberal muslim politican has been totally ignored. They are liberals who want justice and a fair 'new' Egypt but only received a mere 20% of the votes. Naguib Sawires was interviewed two weeks prior to the first phase of the elections on CBC. He made it clear that they required funding and wanted outside help. Recently, the Slafists declared that they would boycott all Sawires products and tax them 50%.
How is that just? Is it because they are of another religion and creed that they must be outcast? Where has this been seen before? Oh yeah, countries such as Iraq! What does it take for the world to take notice that there is a prejudice in the Middle East? Not just with Christians but other Muslims such as Shiites. Everyday, people live in fear and try to find a way out because they are being pushed into this corner, struggling to remain alive. But, where can they go? North America and Europe have stopped offering refugee status to all these minorities trying to survive! Keyword: survive. I am honestly outraged that the rest of the world believes in democracies and rights as human beings yet we can watch what is going on in these countries and pass them off as 'those stupid people are fighting again'.
I hope that people will take more notice of the current situation in, not just, Egypt but all the Middle Eastern countries because this is the start of what is likely to be a genocide against all minorities.