As a Coptic young woman growing up in a modern society, I have witnessed many things when it comes to my community and background. As I grow, I realized that I am not the only one experiencing the things I have done. I have been a part of many discussions about taboos in our communities and whether or not they really are wrong in respect to religion.
To start with, what is the definition of religion? It is 1) the belief in and worship of a superhuman power- God and 2) beliefs as discussed or taught. Tradition, on the other hand, is defined as 1) the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on this way and/or 2) a long established custom or belief that has been passed on this way.
Definitions noted?
As ethnics we tend to refer to our religion and say, 'no it is not allowed.' Is it really? I'm a Christian who tries to live righteously to the best of my abilities. After all, God put us on Earth as part of our test. I, also, come from a very conservative family. A family who pride themselves in reputation. What reputation? Amongst the people of our community of course. It seems to be the same with all the other families. They compete for best looking, best dressed, most successful, most popular etc. Just like a high school if you will. They take it to extremes and are willing to spread rumors and lies to destroy the reputation of their so-called brothers and sisters. As a result, girls such as myself are forced to dress, look, and behave a certain way in the fear of not bringing shame on to their family or ruining the family's name if you will. Sometimes, there are situations one is put into and then when explained say it is wrong in our religion. How is it wrong?
A recent example I encountered is tattoos. This debate took place between two women and their daughters. The witness? The family priest. The poor man got a headache to say the least. Tattoos are not biblically wrong. There is no verse or anything casting it as wrong. Society and communities have turned it into something most definitely to be frowned upon. The mothers, of course, disagreed. They said that unless it is of a religious representation it is entirely wrong. Note, neither of the daughters want tattoos but were only out to set a point. That tattoos are not biblically wrong and that along the way we've managed to mix traditions with religion! When asked, the priest said that tattoos were indeed not wrong. However, 'that if one is covered in tattoos what will one think?' he added. This brought about the point. What about what people will think?
If one is constantly being taught about religion being the guideline we must abide by then why should we concern ourselves with other people? Surely the only judgement we should care for is that of God? Sadly, that is not ethical. Reputation is far more important. God forbid you be a good person going about your life as normal.
Reputation isn't everything. I could be an undercover thief but look like a saint in society by contributing to charity and being popular amongst the masses. What does that gain me? The point is, not only in my community, but in many ethnic communities, reputation is far more important. Saying religion is the reason behind the traditions is my biggest peeve. The two are not tied. Nor are they the same thing. With the years we've managed to mix the two and refer to it as religion.
Remember- God only sees YOUR heart.
